Confession

God comes first. You don’t have to bow to an idol to break this one: putting money, success, fame or a person in God’s place does it too. So do superstitions like fortune-telling, horoscopes, magic and lucky charms (CCC 2110-2128).

• Have I neglected prayer? Did I remember God only in hard times?
• Have I put my trust in fortune-tellers, horoscopes, magic or lucky charms?
• Have money, career, being liked or a relationship taken God’s place in my life?
• Have I been ashamed of my faith or hidden it?
• Have I knowingly and stubbornly rejected a truth the Church teaches?
• Have I despaired of God’s mercy, or sinned deliberately thinking “he’ll forgive me anyway”?

It asks for reverence for God’s name and for what is holy. Blasphemy, swearing by God’s name needlessly or falsely, breaking a vow made to God and mocking religion go against it (CCC 2142-2159).

• Have I used the name of God, Jesus or Mary in anger, or blasphemed?
• Have I sworn by God’s name needlessly or falsely?
• Have I broken a promise or vow I made to God?
• Have I mocked religion, holy things or believers, or laughed along when others did?

It asks us to give Sunday to God and to rest. For Catholics this means taking part in Mass on Sundays and holy days of obligation. Avoiding needless work and making time for family, rest and good works are part of it too (CCC 2180-2188).

• Have I missed Mass on a Sunday or holy day of obligation without a valid reason?
• Have I come late to Mass on purpose, or spent it on my phone?
• Did I spend Sunday on work, shopping and screens? Did I make time for my family and for rest?
• Have I kept others (employees, family) from resting on Sunday?

It starts with our parents and extends to everyone with responsibility over us, at home, at work and in society. It runs both ways: parents owe their children, employers owe their workers, and grown children owe their aging parents (CCC 2197-2233).

• Have I been rude, disrespectful or ungrateful to my parents? Have I neglected to call or visit them?
• Have I given elderly or sick family members the care they need?
• If I am a parent, have I made time for my children and given them the faith and a good example?
• Have I treated my spouse and family with patience and love?
• Have I respected my teachers, my superiors and the law, as long as they don’t ask me to act against my conscience?

It covers not only murder but everything that harms human life and health: anger, hatred and the wish for revenge, humiliating or bullying someone, abortion, drugs, drunkenness, reckless driving and neglecting one’s own health. Jesus says that whoever is angry with his brother will also be judged (Matthew 5:21-22; CCC 2258-2317).

• Have I shouted at, insulted or humiliated someone in anger? Have I held on to hatred or a wish for revenge?
• Have I deliberately excluded or bullied someone (online too)?
• Have I harmed my own health through excessive alcohol, smoking, drugs or carelessness?
• Have I endangered myself and others by speeding or driving carelessly?
• Have I had an abortion, or pushed someone toward having one?
• Have I led someone into sin by my bad example?

It teaches that sexuality belongs to the lifelong, total gift of love between husband and wife in marriage. Sex outside marriage, adultery, pornography, masturbation, artificial contraception in marriage and treating one’s spouse as an object go against it. Married or single, everyone is called to live chastely according to their state of life (CCC 2337-2359, 2380-2391).

• Have I watched pornography or looked for explicit content?
• Have I had sexual relations outside marriage?
• If I am married, have I been unfaithful to my spouse? Have I treated my spouse as an object?
• Have I masturbated?
• Have I led others into sin by the way I dress, my jokes or my messages?

Respect what belongs to others, and their work. Stealing isn’t only taking things: slacking off on the clock, cheating customers, dodging taxes, not paying debts, pirating software or films and keeping something you found all count. Helping the poor and caring for creation are part of it too (CCC 2401-2449).

• Have I taken something that belongs to someone else, failed to return what I borrowed or to pay a debt?
• Have I taken pay without working, wasted work time, or used my employer’s property for myself?
• Have I cheated in buying, selling or my taxes? Have I paid my employees fully and on time?
• Have I used pirated software, films or music?
• Have I neglected my family’s needs through gambling or needless spending?
• Have I helped the poor and those in need as much as I can?

It asks for respect for the truth. Lying, slander and detraction (needlessly telling others about someone’s real but hidden faults) go against it. Judging someone without hearing them out, revealing secrets and spreading unverified claims on social media belong here too (CCC 2475-2492).

• Have I lied, or twisted or exaggerated the truth?
• Have I talked behind someone’s back, needlessly telling others their faults?
• Have I slandered someone or accused them unjustly?
• Have I judged someone without hearing them out, only from what I had heard?
• Have I revealed a secret entrusted to me?
• Have I shared things on social media without being sure they were true?

The last two commandments look not at actions but at the heart. The ninth forbids desiring another person’s spouse; the tenth forbids envy of other people’s goods and greed. Jesus says that whoever looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery in his heart (Matthew 5:28; CCC 2514-2557).

• Have I deliberately dwelt on lustful thoughts and fantasies?
• Have I looked with desire at someone else’s spouse or partner?
• Have I envied other people’s homes, cars, jobs or lives? Have I grown discontented looking at others’ lives on social media?
• Have I been too attached to money and things? Have I thanked God for what I have?

* Why are 9 and 10 together? The Bible doesn’t number the commandments, so different traditions count them differently. Catholics follow St. Augustine: the ban on other gods and on idols is one commandment, the first, and the ban on coveting is split in two, your neighbor’s spouse (ninth) and your neighbor’s goods (tenth) (Deuteronomy 5:21). Most Orthodox and Protestant churches count idols separately and join the two on coveting. We put the last two together here because both are about what goes on in the heart before anything is done (CCC 2514-2557).